Não ignoro que tenho contra mim o quase unânime consenso. A moça bonita, quando sorri à toa, quando faz trejeitos de faceirice e fala sem propósito, parece uma flor da humanidade, um espetáculo estimulante, uma fonte de alegria. Na verdade, porém, a futilidade é uma coisa lúgubre. Não sei se você já viu essas chagas medonhas que roem o nariz, que abrem um buraco no rosto. Vistas sem levar em conta o rosto, o nariz, a boca, a expressão humana enfim, essas chagas têm um luxo de cores a que não recusaríamos uma certa beleza exótica. Postas no homem são um horror. Pois assim é a frivolidade.
O que existe na frivolidade é mais doença que saúde; mais fixação do que mobilidade; mais morte do que vida. Eu disse fixação. Explico-me melhor: todos nós sofremos na vida certos golpes psicológicos, um susto, uma surpresa maravilhada, uma descoberta dolorosa, que deixam em nós um resíduo. Ora, tudo em nossa vida vai depender da possibilidade de assimilação desses resíduos. Se conseguirmos dissolvê-los na substância de nossa pessoa, então esses sinais de nossas experiências serão fecundos. Haverá uma experiência propriamente humana, um lucro. Se eu transformar em sangue, em alma, as pedras de meu caminho, terei doravante antenas sensíveis que antes não possuía, serei capaz de intuições que antes me faltavam. Farei versos, descobrirei novos planetas, ou terei simplesmente um harmonioso equilíbrio que me permitirá a dilatação da vida.
O frívolo, ao contrário, é aquele em que o resíduo das experiência encaroçou. Tem pontos sensíveis, botões, teclas de comando, e são movidos de fora para dentro, como os mecanismos. Aperta-se um botão e ele diz “bom-dia” encarquilhando os músculos da face. Aperta-se outro botão e ele faz um discurso, se é ministro, ou atira os cabelos para trás, se é moça de vinte e cinco anos.
Conheci uma pobre moça que passou toda a vida, e muitos maus pedaços, escorada num leitmotiv que viera provavelmente da adolescência. Alguém, em certo dia, em certa conjunção favorável de astros, dissera: “Que bom gênio tem Fabrícia!” e desse dia em diante, com a constância de uma vestal, Fabrícia guardara acesa essa divisa. Fez questão de ser fiel a esse compromisso de acaso, conseguindo mesmo, em certas situações mais difíceis, um verdadeiro heroísmo na defesa desse bom humor sistemático e de empréstimo. Lembro-me que fui vê-la no dia em que o filho morreu atropelado. Chorava como todo boa mãe, mas creio não me enganar muito se disser que vi, por detrás das lágrimas honestas, um clarão que parecia telegrafar-me: “A vida é assim; vou reagir, e vocês verão que bom gênio tem Fabrícia.”
Esse caso é dos melhores. A ter em si um demônio, antes assim, de trato agradável. Mas a questão é que ele geralmente não está só. Existem outros, que aproveitaram a porta aberta, e que engrossam e complicam o coro interior. Eu poderia provar, se escrevesse aqui toda a história da desventurada Fabrícia, que não há nada mais lúgubre, mais desolador, do que a pessoa chegar aos cinqüenta anos com esse bom humor sistemático.
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