
Acordei muito cedo; enquanto preparava meu café da manhã, fiquei pensando em todas as pessoas que não escrevem, e de repente me dei conta que mais de 99% da humanidade prefere, no mais puro estilo Bartleby, não o fazer, prefere não escrever.
Deve ter sido essa arrasadora cifra que me deixou nervoso. Comecei a fazer gestos como os que í s vezes fazia Kafka: estapear-se, esfregar as mãos, encolher a cabeça entre os ombros, jogar-se no chão, saltar, dispor-se a atirar ou a receber algo…
Ao pensar em Kafka, lembrei-me do Artista da Fome de uma narrativa sua. Esse artista negava-se a ingerir alimentos porque para ele era forçoso jejuar, não podia evitá-lo. Pensei naquele momento em que o inspetor lhe pergunta por que não pode evitá-lo, e o Artista da Fome, levantando a cabeça e falando na própria orelha do inspetor para que as suas palavras não se perdessem, diz a este que jejuar sempre foi inevitável, pois nunca píde encontrar comida que lhe agradasse.
E me veio à memória outro artista do Não, também saído de uma narrativa de Kafka. Pensei no Artista do Trapézio, aquele que evitava tocar o chão com os pés e passava dia e noite no trapézio sem descer, vivia nas alturas as vinte e quatro horas, do mesmo modo que Bartleby nunca saía do escritório, nem sequer aos domingos.
Quando deixei de pensar nesses evidentes exemplares de artistas do Não, vi que continuava um tanto nervoso e agitado. Disse para mim mesmo que talvez fosse conveniente arejar-me um pouco, falar do tempo com o jornaleiro ou responder com um lacínico “não” no supermercado quando o caixa me pergunta se tenho cartão de cliente.
Ocorreu-me, vencendo como pudesse minha timidez, realizar uma pequena pesquisa entre as pessoas comuns, averiguar por que motivos não escrevem, tentar saber qual é o tio Celerino de cada uma delas.
Por volta do meio-dia, plantei-me na banca-livraria da esquina. Uma senhora estava olhando a contracapa de um livro de Rosa Montero. Aproximei-me dela e, após um breve preâmbulo com o qual procurei ganhar sua confiança, perguntei-lhe quase à queima-roupa:
” E a senhora, por que não escreve?
As mulheres, í s vezes, são de uma lógica arrasadora. Olhou-me, surpresa com a pergunta, sorriu e me disse:
” O senhor está brincando comigo. E então, diga-me: por que eu deveria escrever?
O livreiro ouviu a conversa e, quando a mulher foi embora, disse-me:
” Tão cedo e já paquerando?
Irritou-me o seu olhar de macho cúmplice. Decidido a transformá-lo também em matéria de pesquisa, perguntei-lhe por que não escrevia.
” Prefiro vender livros ” respondeu-me.
” Â Menos esforço, não é isso? ” eu lhe disse, meio indignado.
” Eu gostaria, se quer que lhe diga a verdade, de escreverem chinês. Adoro somar, ganhar dinheiro.
Conseguiu desconcertar-me.
” Â Que quer dizer? ” perguntei-lhe.
” Nada. Que, se tivesse nascido na China, não me importaria em escrever. Os chineses são muito vivos, escrevem letras de cima para baixo como se depois fossem somar o escrito.
Conseguiu irritar-me. Além disso, sua mulher, que estava ao lado, riu da piada do marido. Comprei deles um jornal a menos do que costumo comprar e perguntei a ela por que não escrevia.
Ficou pensativa, e por um momento tive esperança de que sua resposta fosse mais orientadora do que as obtidas até então. Finalmente me disse:
” Porque não sei.
” O que é que não sabe?
” Escrever.
Em vista do resultado, deixei a pesquisa para outro dia.
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