Todo homem precisa de alguém próximo o suficiente para limpar suas merdas.
No meu caso, o nome dela era Neve.
Não saberia dizer quando nossa relação começou. Neve fazia parte da minha vida desde sempre. Conhecia minha intimidade em sua faceta mais profunda, sempre me ajudando a manter o interior livre das impurezas que acumulamos ao longo da nossa existência.
Um dia, percebi que estava tendo dificuldades para manter Neve na minha vida.
Tomei coragem e confessei: “Neve, você está muito cara”. Neve respondeu: “Você que está muito pobre”.
Como sempre, elas conseguem reverter o jogo e transformar qualquer situação em culpa nossa.
Como sempre, fui obrigado a concordar com Neve.
Depois deste abandono, me vi impelido a olhar em volta. Havia todo um mundo desconhecido para mim. Estar novamente sozinho era ter todas disponíveis novamente.
Logo conheci uma. Sublime era seu nome. Ela parecia se encaixar perfeitamente no meu estilo de vida. Não tive dúvidas e a trouxe comigo.
Nosso primeiro contato não foi dos melhores. Normal. Como um homem que há anos beija a mesma mulher e parece tropeçar na própria língua ao beijar uma outra.
A sensação de dividir a intimidade com Sublime era como a de coçar o saco com a canhota: por mais que eu saiba que a mão é minha, os dois primeiros segundos são sempre tomados pela sensação de que tem outro cara segurando meu pau.
Assim, o primeiro toque de Sublime em meu corpo causou uma contração imediata de todos os meus músculos. Não houve nem mesmo tempo de perceber as diferenças no seu toque. Eu simplesmente fugi.
Com o tempo ” e com a necessidade ” Â comecei a me abrir cada vez mais para Sublime. Sua aspereza inicialmente parecia agradar pela novidade, mas com o tempo foi me causando feridas cada vez mais profundas.
Eu me via agora na situação contrária, impelido a dispensar Sublime como Neve fizera comigo. Foi quando eu reparei naquela que estava sempre ao meu lado, discreta, mas disponível, solícita, presente. Aquela amiga próxima na qual não reparamos. Seu nome era Duchinha.
Duchinha era muito tímida e eu demorei a tomar coragem para ter algo com ela. Era uma relação inesperada. Sempre a vi de outra maneira; nunca cogitei ter nada íntimo com ela. No entanto, ela era uma companheira fiel. Parecia a coisa certa a se fazer.
E como a vida não é um filme, nosso encontro foi péssimo. Eu e Duchinha não conseguíamos ter química. Nossos encontros eram descompassados, por vezes com excesso de veemência, por outras com certo desânimo. Depois de várias tentativas fracassadas, mesmo a nossa antiga relação ficou abalada. Duchinha hoje é ainda mais tímida; passa dias inteiros no canto, olhando a parede. Creio que estragamos nossa relação.
Mais solitário do que nunca, me atirei novamente em busca de novidades. A tentação de voltar com Neve era grande. Mal ou bem, agora tinha condições de bancá-la. No entanto, nós homens nos apegamos mais à novidade do que à qualidade; ter experimentado o contato com outras foi um caminho sem volta.
Até que um dia um amigo em comum me apresentou a Personal. Ela tinha algo de Neve em sua aparência, mas me parecia bem menos arrogante.
Ainda estamos no início da relação, mas já posso adiantar que ela conhece minha intimidade como ninguém.
Acredito que achei alguém para limpar minhas merdas para sempre.
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