Fast food é comida ruim que você faz sem precisar gastar muito tempo do seu dia, que já é pouco e cada vez encurta mais. Tempo é um tema ao qual os filósofos dedicam muitos instantes sem chegar a conclusão alguma que o valha. Instante é a medida de tempo que você pode gastar para fazer um macarrão do tipo miojo, que também é chamado de comida instantânea. Instantâneo é aquilo que tem a capacidade altamente invejada de se fazer existir ou de se fazer entender ou de se fazer desejar em um instante. Instante é a medida do tempo que você gasta para passar de um pensamento a outro. Pensamento é um processo cognitivo de tese, antítese e síntese, silogismos e neologismos, fantasia e horror. Horror é a sensação de que o mundo vai acabar e de que você não fez nada que te alçasse à categoria de especial. Especial é tudo o que não é medíocre e que causa espécie, assombro, surpresa í queles que com ele tomam contato. Contato é a ligação de algo com alguma coisa. Alguma coisa é um conceito dotado de tanta imprecisão quanto tudo que se disse até agora neste texto. Imprecisão é a qualidade maior presente no sabor do macarrão que se faz em um instante. Instante é o tempo que o ponteiro precisa para alcançar o número 12 do relógio. Número 12 é o número da casa da minha tia, de nome Celinha, casada com meu tio, de nome Tavinho. Tia Celinha e Tio Tavinho adoram comidas que não sejam instantâneas, nem momentâneas, nem fugazes, nem velozes, nem superficiais, nem vegetarianas. Celinha não sabe o que é o instante, nem o vazio, nem a morte. Só pensa em agradar ao tio Tavinho e aos filhos. O tio Tavinho não faz idéia do que possa ser o imperativo categórico e nem o mundo como vontade e representação. Só pensa em ver futebol, beber cerveja, consertar carros na oficina e em outras coisas que não convém falar. O filho mais velho da tia Celinha e do tio Tavinho fez vestibular e começou a estudar filosofia, para desgosto da família. O primogênito de Celinha e Tavinho não puxou a nenhum dos dois e se chama Humberto. Vive í s voltas com livros e começou a questionar tudo o que os pais davam por certo. Tornou os almoços insuportáveis quando veio com aquela história de que o instante sem lugar é o que realmente importa. Causou gastrites que viraram úlceras no tio Tavinho quando resolveu fumar maconha e citar Platão quanto bem entendia. Tio Tavinho, que nunca fora dado a insínias, deixou de dormir, pois tudo virava pergunta sem resposta e a tudo o que ele dizia vinha o Humberto com uma frase ininteligível e pomposa. Inclusive tia Celinha e tio Tavinho já não tinham mais certeza de nada. A tartaruga Neném, da família, passou a ser objeto de acaloradas discussões, quando Humberto resolveu trazer para a ceia de natal o assunto estranhíssimo acerca da corrida de Aquiles com a Tartaruga e o paradoxo que a família nunca conseguiu entender. Humberto tecia longos sermões achando belíssima a permanência de Neném, a tartaruga, sempre no mesmo lugar. Entretanto, da perspectiva da família, ele já não falava lé com cré, mas, quando foi expulso de casa por ter tornado a convivência entre todos insuportável, foi num único instante que se deu conta de que não tinha um tostão no bolso, de que só sabia cozinhar macarrão instantâneo e que teria de voltar atrás. Atrás é uma posição no espaço situada antes daquela na qual a pessoa – no caso, Humberto – se encontra, e pela qual, presume-se, ela já passou. Passado é outra dimensão do tempo, aquele que é difícil conceituar, mas que passa voando.
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50 respostas
vivian é uma grande escritora
Concordo com o namoradão Vivian, tá demais, parabéns!
Booooom!
nossa, o conto eh muito genial mesmo. e eu acho tbm, mesmo o macarrão mais instantaneo guarda pensamentos os mais complexos. vivian é minha escritora preferida depois de clarice lispector, ehehehe. mas incrÃvel mesmo é esta maçã mágica q a agata arrumou…
Achei incrÃvel essa maçã também! Acabou com meu conto! Hahahahah! Valeu Guilherme!!!
Sensa.
Adorei, Vivian! Parabéns, que conto sensacional!!!
Muito bom Vivian, muito bom.
Muito BOM!!!
Olha Vívian, tá demais. Adoro seu estilo!
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